I have found that the men that I know are extremely visual...meaning that they have to have visual aide the help them along with their fantasies and to excite them. Some men have messaged me (yes, I am sure you know who you are, and you are not alone), asking me when I am going to post the explicit blogs or the descriptive sex stories and suggest also that I include pictures of "How To"...LOL...I laugh about it, but I know they are serious as hell about it! I have found that MOST men not only think about sex often, but they visualize it in great detail as well! This might explain to some women why men look at pornography online or in playboy etc...Now, mind you, Playboy does have some great descriptive stories but if they tell you they only order Playboy for the stories, they are yanking your chain...Well, actually they are most likely yanking theirs, that's why they ordered it...;) It used to bother me when I was younger that my man would look at things like that because I wanted him to be turned on by me and not by what he saw on the screen or in a book. But truth be known, you may want to let him, because if we had to perform each time a man actually thought about sex during the day, we would be worn out. So you might as well let him handle some of it himself and let you regain some strength!
As I got older I found I enjoyed checking it out also, I became more open to it out of curiosity and getting some helpful tips...:) It took me sooooooooo many years to realize that these men I was with not only appreciated a beautiful body, but they admired the confidence that these women had and their openness to exploration and "trying something new". Men know that they are not always going to have an opportunity to land a woman like they admire on the screen or in a book...They also realize that they usually do not resemble the hot ass man with the killer abs that women admire in those movies...It may go against a lot of religious beliefs that most of you were raised on, so this is MY belief only. You are an adult, so you have the liberty to believe whatever way you want...I am merely expressing my opinions to all of it...Once again, basing it solely on my own experiences!
With that being said, I do not see anything wrong with exploring things like that with your partner. If it can help enhance your sexual intimacy between you and your partner, then I say go for it. BUT, if it is something that takes control over you and you find yourself lusting for fictitious people and it is taking a toll on your relationship instead of enhancing it, then you have a problem. I honestly and truly think that it can help a couple open up and become comfortable in their own skin...and it helps the man obtain the visual aid that he desires. I usually have my nose up against the screen trying to figure out how the hell that chick got into that position, some of them are so talented...LOL...Think about it like this> Say for instance, we as women, go all out and fix ourselves up and put on make-up, buy a new outfit, workout at the gym to keep our body all buff (ummm, not me:example only) ....we basically go out of our way to make sure we look our best when we are single. Why do we do that? Because we want to attract a man!!! What do men notice first??? Unfortunately ladies> Most men notice a woman's appearance first...I have read many articles on the subject and plenty of polls have been taken...Men seek an attractive woman, that is first on their list. They have got to have someone that is sexually appealing. Okay, so say you are the total package and that is really and truly what attracted him to you in the first place and then he found you to be funny, charismatic, intelligent, independent and confidant!! Usually if you have all of those qualities he would ask you to marry him. But little does he know that now he will have to live with you everyday and witness all of the preparation it took from you to look that good.....he will wake up to find you with no make up on, you will eventually tell him that the lingerie he bought is beautiful but the t-shirt and jamma bottoms are so much more comfy...Then we really do not have time to fiddle with our hair, we just want to throw it up in a ponytail! So picture this...He sees you across a dimly lit room in an elegant restaurant, you look amazing and you are confident! Four years later he looks at you from across the brightly lit living room and sees your fat ass laid up on the couch in your t-shirt and jammas, with your hair in a pony tail and you are bitching at him because he likes to look at sexy women in his magazine...LOL! Now Ladies, Do not take offense to what I just described, because it was a story about ME!!
Of course, we get pissed off that they look at those women, skinny bitches always piss me off (sorry ashley and a million others). But quite honestly, who are we really pissed off at? Ourselves, because we let ourselves go! Granted, this scenario can definitely go both ways. Men let themselves go as well, so my thinking is...if you do not look as buff and hot as you did when I met you> then cut me some slack! MOST men do, but they still appreciate a sexy woman as much as we appreciate a sexy man. Accept the fact he does not look like Channing Tatum and maybe he can forgive that you do not look like Kim Kardashian. BUT...you both could have the best time watching sexy films together and maybe even role playing and being comfortable with who you are, accepting one another and respecting each others fantasies and try them out. Do not EVER think it's either disgusting, filthy or crazy...You have your fantasies, he has his...Explore them together and let him know you are open to discussion so he has no need to go behind your back to fill his needs.
I do realize that Men/Women cheat regardless at times, even if they are sexually fulfilled at home...For those few, it obviously is not about sex...the underlying problems are much more then that apparently...Heck, I realized this year> If someone that looks like Marc Anthony cheats on J. Lo, then you are wasting your time trying to prevent things from happening to you like that...It is something that you cannot avoid no matter how much you watch them or distrust them...If someone wants to cheat, they will no matter how much surveillance you place on them....People tend to become addicted to the "living on the edge feeling", so take that away from them and give them the freedom they need and that will take the excitement away from him sneaking around and place it back on you...Because your man will have to wonder what you are doing then...I gave up trying to keep a man faithful!!! If you are gonna cheat then there is not anything I can do about it, just know that can go both ways...If you go for a piece of cake on the side, I am grabbing the rest of the cake and taking your checkbook with me...:)
Just keep in mind that men are visually stimulated...so if you let yourself go, it will only be natural for him to check out the younger, sexier versions. Or he may think like I do...I appreciate all men and after a while I may get bored, so either keep things exciting and treat me good or I am gonna trade your ass in for something different!!! Hell I get tired of driving the same model car year after year, sometimes I have to trade it in for a new one...I guess women with my kind of thinking do not need to get married huh? You are so right!!!!
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